TTC-Patience is a virtue.

August 24, 2012

Patience is the theme of the day. I have none.  Today, I spent all day waiting for the repairman to come and fix our cable, internet, and phone. (Even with a 4 hour window, he was still 2 1/2 hours late.) But worse I am feeling so many "weird" symptoms and constantly plagued with "Am I pregnant? Am I not? What's going on with my body right now?"

It's so hard not over analyze every little thing that is going on with my body. Tonight in particular, I feel like my uterus/ovaries/whatever is doing a little dance. It's not crampy, just a little twingey. What's that? I'm sure it's always there, but I'm so honed in on it right now, I'm just noticing it. The weird "symptom," though, that I'm sure is abnormal is I am so ridiculously hot and then freezing the next. My temps have been staying up on my chart, which is exciting, and I can't help but wonder if surges of hormones are causing my temperature to jump around. It's so weird to me to say I feel hot when usually I am always frigid. Lastly, I've been pretty tired this week, but I think that has more to do with starting back to work than anything else. And maybe some allergy related stuff, too.

I don't know if I am feeling this way because to me, this is a prime month for getting pregnant. Because it's so important to me, and so new, I think I'm jumping the gun on everything. But on the other hand, I really feel like this is our month. I don't want to put too much stock into that feeling, be wrong, and disappointed later, but my intuition is usually pretty good. So...I'm torn. As of tonight, I have taken three (negative) pregnancy tests already, fully knowing it is too early for a positive. I am only 9 DPO (Days Past Ovulation) right now...I'm going to try to hold off testing again till Saturday, 1) when it's more likely to be accurate and 2) before I drink tailgating at Buffett!

So when it comes to waiting, I'm really struggling this month.

TTC- On to Month 2

August 8, 2012

So here we are, on month #2 of TTC. Month #1, although fun, was obviously not productive. Our timing sucked, so I can't say I'm too surprised.


Month #2, however, already has some new challenges. In a studio faculty meeting, it came up that this year is the 20th anniversary of the student company-the company I grew up dancing with and now choreograph for. This show will probably feature a fair amount of alumni performances. I don't know when the show will be, but it will be in the spring. Depending on when/if we conceive, I probably will not be able to perform in this show. I'd typically be ok with that, but this is kind of a big deal. I am trying to decide if I'm not able to perform, how will I feel about it? Is this enough reason to stop trying? How far long can I be and still try to perform? If I decide to delay TTC for a few months, that might put me on Maternity leave at the beginning of the school year, which I really don't want to happen. So then dowe put it off longer? Another year? And all of this could be moot. We could have trouble TTC. If we delay, and then have trouble, it would make it that much longer. Then again, it could be we wait, and the performance is not worth it. There are so many unknowns, but I can't ask without giving away our prospective plans.

And then delaying things a few months (to a year) would give us more time to get finances in order and redo our kitchen. But are these really reasons to put off something so important? In the grand scheme of life, this month or next would be the most ideal for conceiving. I'd have a little bit of time off at the end of school year, then all summer off with the baby. I hope to talk to a friend of mine who  has an acute understanding of me and this organization, hopefully she can offer some guidance or at least help metalk it out. 

Baby Journey: T-1 Month

July 18, 2012

So I just finished my first month off birth control. I see this isn't our first month of trying to conceive because we really used all my knowledge on the subject to try to avoid conceiving. And it appears we were successful. :-D I started temping, observing fertility signs, and charting all my findings after reading Taking Charge of Your Fertility (highly recommended, by the way) and am using Fertility Friend to actually record all my information. I do find that I am having trouble charting when I should...partially because we were gone so much, and partially because the dogs wake me up at odd hours all the time.

As far as side effects go, I thought I was having a pretty easy time coming off the BC after almost 7 years on it, but I found right around ovulation, I was having some pretty severe headaches, dizziness, and what I called "foggy head." It was almost like being hung over without drinking anything the night before. I actually had one more when I was doing laundry to leave for New England, I had to lay down I was so nauseous feeling.

The other major negative I have noticed this cycle is my face. Yikes. Breakouts galore. I picked up Oil of Olay's version of a sonic cleaner in hopes that it will help curb the Breakouts. I'm using a lot of benzoyl peroxide right now to clear it all up, but hope that once I get this flair up under control, I can stop using it.

I was expecting my period to come while I was out of town on "Gaycation," so I picked up two pregnancy tests to take with me "just in case." I felt really awkward buying them and had mixed feelings about using them. I wanted to do it just to affirm a negative, but then again, I was afraid of getting a positive with people I didn't want to know about it yet. I resisted the urge, nature let me know it was OK to drink, and I was not in an awkward situation with our travel mates.

Since getting back to the "real world," I've actually gotten very excited about TTC. This cycle seems real. Getting pregnant now would mean a middle of April due date...I could take possibly take off from there till the end of the school year, or at least everything but the last two weeks before school lets out, then be off for the rest of the summer. That sounds fabulous to me. I think that we are ready. I try not to talk about it too much...while I know the hubster feels the same way I do, I also know he gets annoyed when I obsess too much. I did mention that if we take my grandmother's bedroom suite for our bedroom (hello, king sized bed!), it just so happens that what we currently have in our room has both a twin and a full/queen headboard which would make it great to grow with a baby into childhood. Before I could even get the thought out, he was saying the same thing. He's also made a lot of comments about getting the house ready to put on the market...partially because after visiting other areas of the country, he's ready to get out of our current city, but I think that thinking about raising a family here is not something either one of us wants to do.

So what's going to change this cycle? I'm going to get more serious about charting. This morning I was 30 earlier than my set time, which isn't horrible, but if that persists, I'll just move the default up. I'm going to seriously cut back on alcohol consumption-which isn't bad as it is, but it can be when I'm around certain friends. And most importantly, I need to pick up some prenatal vitamins. I should have already started them. Oops.

Here we go months, 2 months off BC, first actual month of trying!

New beginnings

Wednesday, June 13, 2012




It’s an exciting day: The last day of school (with students) for the school year. Sure, I have to go in tomorrow to turn in keys and finalize a few things, but the end is here. I’m so excited about this summer. For the first time in 6 years, I am no longer working with the marching band. That means my summer is about 4 weeks longer than it has previously been. I have a huge sense of freedom, both for my time and spirit.



Nick and I are actually taking a real vacation. In about 2 weeks, we’re headed up to Maine for a wedding, then we’ll be visiting a friend from college, and touring Boston during the Fourth of July Holiday. This will be our first big vacation together-completely out of our comfort zones-and the first time we’ve actually flown together. We’ll also be heading down to Gatlingburg, TN, with some friends on our “Gaycation.” We have two gay couples we’re close friends with, so we’re staying in a time share together in July. I’m anticipating lots of pool time, a trip or two to some wineries, white water rafting, and some outlet shopping.



I also turn the dirty 30 in less than a month. I’ve made no bones about how excited I am for this. My 20s have been rough, and I’m ready for a new chapter in my life. We’re planning a big bash at our house on July 7, in between vacations.



Speaking of new chapters in our lives, one of my things on my thirty before thirty was to do some soul searching and really figure out how we feel about having children. Nick and I have been talking a lot lately, and today, we’re taking a big step. I took my last birth control pill this morning. I would start the placebos, but I never take them anyway. I’m starting to chart, and we’re actually going to try to avoid for the next month or so. I’d really love to have a June baby, but we’d be content if it were to happen anytime from here forward. Its super scary and exciting all at once to embark upon this journey. For now, we’re not planning on telling anyone. I have mentioned it to two friends: one because she just had a baby back in March and I’ve been grilling her for information, and another who is thinking about jumping on this band wagon. It’s nice to have someone who knows and not keep it completely a secret, but I’m glad to not have everyone know what is going on, too.



So here’s to change…let’s see where this summer takes us!

What I've Been Drinking Lately...

Shirley Temple to go with my veggie sushi

Sparkling Welch's Red Grape Juice

Sparkling Martinelli's Apple-Pomegranate Cider

And it's all because....

Estimated Due Date: June 9, 2013

Our family is adding a new member come June 2013!