Cranky, sad, and a bundle of negativity

It's my own damn fault. I have put such an emphasis on Spring Break and how I need to get my shit together this week, or it's never going to happen...I truly feel defeated at this point. Logically, I know that is the dumbest thing in the world, but life is so crazy right now, I just want to scream.

(Did I mention I have 5 different shows going up between now and May 24? My life is getti g ver performance and rehearsal heavy right now.)

Back at the very tail end of December, my brother in law put up a wall where our loft is. Sound carried upstairs so badly, I noticed how much better I slept as soon as it was up. The only thing is he wasn't able to finish mudding it it, and once that was done, it needed to be painted. My cousin has drywall experience, so I asked him if he would be willing to take it on. I didn't need it done right away, just sometime between then and April 1. He texted me last weekend and said he was no longer able to do it. While I appreciate his initial willingness, I kinda wish he had said no from the beginning. I think I have someone who is willing do do it, but, once gain, when is the big question. And, while they are small walls, I'm afraid painting those walls are going to result in needing to paint the whole room.

Additionally, we have a leak in the faucet of our hall/guest/future spawn's bath tub. It's been there for a long time, but lately it's gotten really bad. Brother in law, who once worked in plumbing, offered to give it a look. What should have been an easy job was out of his league because I let it go too long and it was too corroded for him to fix. Great. We'll have to call a pro for this, and who knows how much it'll cost.

Side note: I realize in some of this complaining, it sounds like I'm complaining about my brother in law's abilities. I'm not at all-he's very good and helpful-it just seems our house is falling apart a bit too much for his skills.

Additionally, I need to spring clean my house. It's filthy. I got the upstairs done, and I need to start downstairs. But the house is such a wreck, I don't feel like picking things up to even get to the place where I can actually clean. Aaaaaaaand I had hoped to wait and clean the family room once the wall was completely finished, but considering I have no clue when that will be, I'm annoyed as to whether or not to go ahead and get it done or wait.

It doesn't help that I feel huge and ugly right now, too. I ripped a pair of jeans yesterday, solidifying my sense of having ginormous thighs. I refuse to buy another pair of maternity jeans, as the weather (hopefully) should warm up soon. (I hope to live in drawstring linen pants and maxi/midi skirts as well as the two pairs of maternity shorts and capris I  have.) The ones I originally purchased do not fit me well, so now I'm wearing a pair of fat jeans (although not my fattest ones) with the BellaBand. I probably need to go bra shopping again, or at least better sort my bra drawer so I don't grab uncomfortable ones to wear anymore. The (non-maternity) dress I had hoped to wear tomorrow for Easter looks like crap on me, and while I am looking forward to visiting the in-laws over the next few days, I am so not looking forward to not sleeping in my own bed.

I'm just cranky. And frustrated. And I have a horrible attitude right now. I'd love to just go to sleep for the next few days and let life pass me by, but, alas, there's too much stuff to get done. Now to get off my rump and do it.