Friday, June 7, 2013

The truth about being 39 weeks pregnant

I hate the whole "Hurry and Wait" mentality. I feel like that is how I have lived this week. Make sure the house is picked up. Don't leave any dishes in the sink. You never know when the baby might come. To make matters worse, there are times when I just don't want to worry about picking up. I want to sit around and be a bum. Productivity has not always been first on my mind. 

And my evenings have been occupied with car shopping. Not my favorite thing to do, but a necessary evil right now. We found out Monday for certain the insurance company was going to total Nick's car after the accident last Friday. We kept going back and forth with which scenario we should do, replace his car and keep mine, get a new family car for me and have him drive mine, or replace both. Last night, after driving an hour and a half out of town, we found the perfect compromise of speed, power, and maturity for Nick at Carmax. I'm thrilled to be done with car shopping, and hoping that later this summer we can get my car replaced, too. Two car payments will suck, but I think at this point, it's a necessary evil. 

Between worrying over money, being harassed about when Nick, Jr, is going to arrive, and a sudden apprehension about labor and delivery, my Dr's appointment wasn't so good on Wednesday. My blood pressure was way up (usually its about 112-124/70-80; this time it was 138/86), my weight was 1 lb below what I was when I started Weight Watchers. My feet and ankles ave been ridiculously swollen this week (especially last night), and I felt like crap-nauseated, run down, and generally hating life at that moment. While we were in the examining room, Nick asked if I was OK. The flood gates opened up just as the Dr opened door. I have never been more embarrassed, which only made me cry harder. I can say I haven't had many emotional meltdowns this pregnancy, but that was truly a special one. 

All the while, I'm getting incessant phone calls and texts as to when I'm going to pop out this baby. Because, you know, I have so much control over that. Anyone I call automatically assumes I'm telling them the baby is on the way. (What they don't realize is there are very few people I'm going to call to tell that to. I don't care about people knowing, but I'm not going to be spending my time on the phone telling them all.) Here's a conversation from earlier this week with my grandmother:

Me: Hey grandma. 
Grandma: Are you on the way to the hospital?
Me: No, I'm on my way to see you.
Grandma: Oh {disappointed sigh}

Additionally, people are asking me questions about how dilated and effaced I am. Seriously, the waitress last night at Friendly's asked me about my cervix. Why is that appropriate, necessary or helpful? Wednesday, I was a little more dilated (a real, true centimeter) and about 50% effaced. Awesome. I also know that means jack shit-I might never go more than that on my own, or my body could have taken over, gone warp speed ahead and finished off the other 9 that night. I also lost my mucus plug last night. It was the most disgustingly, exciting thing ever; however, it could still be another week before I go into labor, or before they have to induce me. So while it is weird that people are so interested in these very intimate parts of my body that I am not really comfortable sharing, I also don't want to give them any false hope. If I tell them I truly believe the baby is coming this weekend (and I still kinda do), if he doesn't, they are going to be so disappointed. And I know it's all because they are excited and so eager to meet him, but so am I. None of us have any control over the situation, and I trying as hard as possible to relax and be zen about the whole thing, but let's face it, I'm a planner. I want to know when and how he's going to get here so I can prepare. But I can't. I don't need everyone reminding me how little control I have. 

1 comment:

Rachel said...

I absolutely could have written this post when I was pregnant with Jack. I was miserable and SO short tempered. You are doing such a great job. The hurry up and wait game sucks too. That is why I loved my scheduled c-section with Cal. Being a planner, I hated no knowing when I would go into labor with Jack. It was rotten.