Thursday, February 28, 2013

Confession:

I realized tonight that I really don't like being pregnant. I am very excited about having a baby, but the actual state of pregnancy does not thrill me. What makes matters worse-I have had a pretty easy pregnancy thus far. A little bit of nausea, a touch of gas, and a nasty looking face or the first half or so...I cannot complain at all about the physical side of things.

And yet, I'm not one of those super happy, glowing pregnant ladies. I look at my tummy and am weirded out, occasionally grossed out, by its size and shape. I do not look at it with awe and wonder as some do. And after working so hard to lose weight, I hate packing on the extra pounds. It's depressing, even though necessary. I try not to focus on it.

I'm also weirded out by the movements within my tummy. I'm glad they mean he's healthy and moving around, but they come at the most inconvenient times. And while they don't hurt, I don't exactly enjoy them either.

Of course, there are common pregnancy complaints everyone goes through. I hate peeing every 5 seconds. I hate people trying to touch my stomach. I hate all the advice and stories people are compelled to share.

In the end, I understand this too shall pass. I feel guilty feeling this way, and even guiltier for putting it down in words. There are so many women who have had much more difficult pregnancies that would love to have it this easy. There are women so would love to just be carrying a child. I feel for them, and am grateful I am where I am on this journey. I also have to remember, regardless of how I feel, this is just a means to an end, and come June, it'll all be worth it.

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